The First Winter

My warmth fades, the leaves fall,
All the joy I have know disappears.
I was born with flowers and bounty
Loving parents fed me and taught me
Now they urge me to leave… To die?
What have I done to deserve this?
Did I play too rough? Too much?
Am I too burdensome for them?
All the newborns share my fate.
There must be something happening.
This death time will surely kill us all.
We must have been victims of timing.
Otherwise, our parents would keep us.
Was all of their love a farce?
Are we to be cast aside at first danger?
I do not understand why they leave us
When my brother died, my mom cried
My dad stayed strong but i felt the pain
So why would they leave me now?
Just as the world becomes dark?
Fuck them, I will live out of spite

The warmth came back! Green abounds!
The depression has long since past!
Three weeks past, I saw purple… Purple!
Not gray, but a bright purple flower!
And mom and dad just came to visit!
They still love me! And I’m an aunt!
My little nieces and nephews are so little!
They told me all about why they left…

I had to learn pain to live freely.
It wasn’t my fault, it was a gift.
Mom cried when she told me
“All my other girls have died, Layla.
You will be a mother this time next year
The joy is only comparable to the pain
But now, you are ready to live your life.
Get strong, learn well, and find love.
This was your first winter, Layla.
There will be more, snowy and tearful
But the Springs and Summers, they’re joyful”

I told them all that had happened to me.
I evaded a cheetah, then kept in the pack.
I got sick from a new plant, then stuck to what i knew
I saw many die from cold and huddled for warmth
I did not want to move from sadness until another played with me.
I did the same to him a few days later and now we’re “huddlers”
And many, many more stories burst forth.
Until at last, I told them my resolute hateful words
And thanked them for making me become me
As they left, I said “After my first Winter, I am me.”
They began to cry until their kids stealth attacked from a bush.

The Beginning

Choose, Villanelle

Decided to try an established form: the Villanelle

Enough with the wishy washy attitude
No more drifting with the changing winds
It’s time to decide a resolute course

Just choose something and decide to do it
No longer deciding based on mental trends
No more living with a wishy washy attitude

The time for indecisiveness has passed
It’s time that the current state of mind ends
Just choose to chart a direct new course

So the question, Where do you want to go?
Listen to what your heart recommends
It wants to shine through the iffy attitude

Do what you love and love what you do
If you don’t know, just ask your friends
They can help discover a joyous course

Even if you choose a few, just choose
Different courses make exciting blends
The point has been said, do what you love
Enough with the wishy washy attitude
I wish you the best on your own course

Meta

Faith

The businessman worked long yesterday
Fourteen hours worked again today
All to get cash to buy some new thing
No time for a life, he goes on living

As he walks to work, a man asks the time,
He says look up as the clock tower chimes
The other sees 9 as he walks towards Thyme’s

A late start today thinks the man to himself
Usually by now, he’s moved off the top shelf
The best drinks first, then the strong but cheap
Lives in his glass, buries himself deep

As he enters the bar, he’s asked for some change
Walks right on by, no words exchanged
The passed man sighs, thinking him strange…

He looked as poor as me, yet he only drinks
If I had the ability I’d save some methinks
Make sure I never have to beg from the likes of him
If only I could stand tall on my lost legs again

Well, here comes one of my quite gracious friends
An older lady stops and talks because of her sins
Her guilt compels her to atone so she might get in

What an unfortunate circumstance for poor Sam!
Hell, he’s older than me and he still calls me ma’am
I can’t believe our we won’t take care of our own!
At least one day we’ll worship at the same throne…

What in the world are those people there wearing?
As she walks by, she can hear them quietly swearing
They swear at her and everyone else that’s staring

“Check that lady out!” one of the ones in black said
The farthest back chimes in “Doesn’t she know God is dead?”
“Fuck it.” The short one replies as he takes a long drag
“Fuck you” says someone else rolling a  zig-zag fag

The group then notices a young guy listening to rap
As a collective, they make fun and swear at the sap
Tim thinks to himself these people should be on a map

They’re always here talking about nothing and smoking
I’d rather die than become an all black nihilist fuckling.
I may be walking alone but at least I still have myself
Those pieces of shit are all just afraid to think for themselves.

As he walks by listening to some guy he knows nothing about
He starts wobbling and seeing spots and soon passes out
A man who watched from afar walks up and reaches out

The young man won’t wake up, suffered a severe stroke
The nihilists are secretly jealous as each in turn tokes
The old lady is just as helpless as she is with her peace
The poor man can no longer even get off his fleece
The partier is in too deep a stupor to even know what’s up
The businessman is too engrossed in work to look up

But this man that was on the other side did as he could
He praised his God as he prayed Him to do as he would
The stroked young man lay there dead as Jesus whispers
To himself and to his God with no interrupters

Tim wearily opens his eyes and looks up at his Savior
He had been on the other side, but now here he is
Staring into the face of a middle-aged Mexican
The same he would soon helplessly watch die

Meta

Passers by

I sit and watch all the passers by
Passing by without seeing a thing
They pass by without batting an eye
Without so much as even thinking

Once wondrous things now mundane
All things resembling one from memory
While different, its more or less the same
That tree, that car, that guy right there: me

That oak, that mazda, this tan white guy
Nothing shocks, inspires, or intrigues
All hardly noticed as they go passing by
Paying attention at all mentally fatigues

So i sit and i wonder what life do i lead?
Is it really so different from the passers by?
As i sit at my booth simply waiting to feed
On a cheese and pepperoni pizza pie…

Meta

Two

Onward down the number line!
From 1, I go to 1.5
Halfway to 2, I’m almost through
With what I was told I could not do
See, I was told I could not reach 2
By jumping halfway each time my number grew
How silly this concept now seems to me,
for the number two, I can already see!
So I jump on up to 1.75
Close enough to give a 1.875
I’m 7/8ths there, not much left
.875 roasted to my left!
Jump forward to .9375,
I did not move very far that time.
Still less, less and less each time I move
It seems I have no more room to move
But each time I jump, it seems to me,
That 2 is moving farther from me
Rapidly, I approach it now!
In exasperation I stop and say wow
For no longer am I seeming to grow
And now within I finally know
I am stuck on this number line
As the number 1.999…
And yet I remember a mathematical proof
I’m number two and here’s the proof.
X=.999…
3x=2.999…
3x-x=2.99…-x
2x=2
X=1
X+1=2
Now It seems to me i’m not quite two
But how does it seem according to you?

Meta

Oaks

I am.

I am a point.
I am a line.
I am a plane.
I am infinite space.
What am I?
I exist in 0-dimensions.
I exist in 1-dimension.
I exist in two-dimensions.
I exist in three-dimensions.
I exist in infinite dimensions.
I have nowhere to move.
I can move left or right.
I can move left, right, up, and down.
I can move left, right, up, down, forwards and backwards.
I can move in infinite directions.
People use me to define places.
People use me to count.
People use me to draw.
People exist within me.
I use.
I am indefinable.
I require two dimensions to exist.
I require three-dimensions to exist.
I require four-dimensions to exist.
I exist.
I am infinitely small.
I am infinitely long.
I am infinitely long and wide.
I am infinitely long, wide, and deep
I am infinitely infinite.
I am a point. I make up lines.
I am a line. I make up planes
I am a plane. I make up space.
I am infinite space. I make up hyperspace.
I am.

Meta

The Seed

Knowledge, the primeval seed
Picked up and stored ’til there’s need
Sometimes presented, sometimes unused
Always there, waits to be used

Until one day, understanding
The knowledge has taken root
Accidentally standing
Brand new roots quickly grow shoots

Some insight transformed knowledge
Some water got in out of sight
Seeped in the bag from some ledge
Some seeds germinate then light

Understanding growing now
Nutrients, water and light
Grows in spurts look at it now
Flowers in bloom, colors bright

Seeks out its kin, finds none here
Its flowers unfertilized
No other trees anywhere
All areas uncolonized

Then one day, pollen finds him
It floated in from within
Sitting, listening to a hymn
Not trying, not searching sin

Fertilized finally!
Look now, the first fruit appeared
And there another, quickly
Within, wisdom quite revered

Knowledge applied, a tree
Understanding lies within
Fruit signaled the death of me
With wisdom, I now begin

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Freedom

Waiting, waiting, waiting
For what will come
Waiting, waiting, waiting
Yet on the run
Waiting, waiting, waiting
Never stop anticipating
waiting, waiting, waiting
mentally perspiring
Waiting, waiting, waiting
Dwelling in anxiety
Waiting, waiting, waiting
Spurning all society
Waiting, waiting, waiting
Time to let it free
Living, living, living
Time to let life be

Meta

Allthereis

Nothing to see, nowhere to go,
nothing to touch, nothing to know.
Many have been but only one is,
in time beyond time so alone.
All goals reached, nothing to do,
all that’s been seems of no use.
All that is is all that there is,
having no one to share it with.
All have become all that there is
and all that there is forgot that it is.
Forgot seeing, forgot going,
forgot touching, forgot knowing.
So All that there is did as before
and thought to itself let there be more.

Meta